When you’ve been brought up in a “love for merit” environment, it’s easy for someone to become an overachiever, a type-a as they call it, but before labeling and judging people, I always try to figure out the “why and the how come” behind it. Something I’ve learned over the years and have learned to accept and eventually live by, is that our mistakes, our f***ups, don’t define us. We are not our mistakes. We are not our f***ups. We’re all human and we all eventually will make them. But when you’re brought up in a household where you’re held up to impossible standards and love is something they manipulate you and blackmail you with, well then, it’s only normal to want to excel, to never f***up, to never make a mistake and to be adamant when you do!

Ever since integrating this mantra into my everyday life, I have found myself being more relaxed, finding silver linings and learning from my mistakes. I have taken the pressure from having to be perfect and flawless and “mistake-less”. Boy, it has been a game-changer. Such a breath of fresh air. Because guess what, those close to me, those who are important to me, the people I love and respect, they kept and keep loving me, despite the mistakes I make. The same way I love them with their mistakes and f***ups. Because their mistakes do not define them. Think about it, when you talk about a loved one or a friend, you don’t add their mistakes in their name or even in their introduction. Can you imagine? “Let me introduce to you Sam “got fired from his job because he was day drinking” Smith!” No, in fact, if he were your friend, you’d be there for him, help him, accompany him during this hard and disappointing time in his life. You still love him, despite this dark chapter in his life.

My journey has not been an easy one. Coming to the realization that I am not my mistakes has taken a lot of time, soul searching and facing never ending daemons. What I mostly appreciated during this process, is that I could finally figure out and pinpoint why I always felt like I had to overachieve and never f***up. And once I figured it out, it wasn’t so much an excuse, because I didn’t justify my past behavior with it, I actually changed my behavior. I truly and deeply believe it – we are not our mistakes. I made it mine. I can say that I used to feel and think differently because that’s what I learned at home, but now I don’t believe and think that way anymore. I changed my outlook, from the inside out. In my personal journey, I was helped by my coach and my therapist. They have helped me get to this point. I’ve been living a more fulfilled and happier life ever since, which is why being accompanied during your personal growth journey is so important. You don’t have to do it by yourself. There are professionals out there waiting to accompany you and guide you through this journey. I’m for starters, one of them! Godspeed!