The Imposter Syndrome: what it is and how can you deal with it?
Ricky Gervais once tweeted:
“It's better to create something that others criticize than to create nothing & criticize others. Go create! Have fun!”
But what happens when you criticize yourself constantly? Also known as the imposter syndrome. The imposter syndrome is defined as a psychological occurrence in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. It’s a phenomenon in which people doubt their own education, competence, skill, talents, accomplishments, and knowledge. As a result, they feel less competent than how they are perceived by other people.
So, one thing is being criticized by other people or criticizing others, but how do you deal when you criticize yourself?
Your first instinct might be to just work harder so that you feel more knowledgeable and capable. God knows I’ve tried to deal with it that way. The problem is that this strategy won’t really change the underlying feelings that are fueling it. In my experience, the first step toward managing imposter syndrome is to recognize when you are feeling like a fraud. When you experience these feelings, take a serious look at some of the other emotions and thoughts that lie behind them.
Why are you being so hard on yourself?
Is it necessary to be perfect in order to be worthy of love, success, and recognition?
Would you judge someone else as harshly as you judge yourself?
Sometimes sharing what you are feeling with those you trust and can confide in, can help. Often times you’ll realize that you’re not the only one experiencing this phenomenon. One study suggested that around 70% of all people experience imposter syndrome at least once in their life. Research suggests that labeling what you are feeling can reduce the intensity of the emotion and make it easier to manage. In other words, labeling your feelings as imposter syndrome may make you feel it less acutely.
When you are comparing yourself unfavorably to others and feeling like you don’t measure up, remind yourself of your skills. You have expertise and experience that others do not. You have a purpose, even if you haven’t figured it out yet and you have the ability to do well. Yes, there may be other people who are more knowledgeable or experienced or successful but remind yourself that no one is perfect. Look at how far you have come in your own learning and let yourself appreciate your talents and hard work.
Imposter feelings are often fueled by cognitive distortions that lead to negative, unrealistic thinking. For example, all-or-nothing thinking can contribute to an inability to accept anything less than perfection. Learn more about these distortions, work on identifying your own distorted thinking patterns, and then actively work on changing how you think. While it may take some time, try to stop comparing yourself to other people; avoid things that are likely to trigger comparison and reminding yourself that what you see in your social interactions or on social media are just a glimpse of a person’s entire life (remember instagram vs reality?)
Instead, focus on being compassionate to yourself and use your desire to improve as motivation to seek things that serve your happiness and well-being.
If it feels like imposter feelings are holding you back from living the life you want or if you are also experiencing feelings of anxiety, depression, or other mental health symptoms, talk to your doctor.
