Holding back or holding onto?

In Jay Shetty’s last podcast feating special guest Kevin Hart, Jay said something that really resonated with me:

“What’s holding you back is something you’re holding onto. A grudge, an emotion, an idea that you’re not letting go of. Being able to walk away from that requires strength and courage.”

We tend to always blame someone or something for holding us back, but sometimes it’s not so much the holding back that keeps us from moving on, it’s the “holding onto it” that makes it difficult, and that is not due to someone or something: it’s due to us. It’s our decision, prerogative, comfort zone that makes us hold onto something. Cling onto an emotion, a grudge, an idea, a dream.

And so, if we’re the ones holding onto it, we are also the ones who can let go of it. We can decide which ever way we want to go. And yes, as Jay points out, it takes strength, a lot of strength and it takes courage, the “grow a pair” type of courage. It’s scary, it’s unsettling, it’s unraveling, it moves our ground and shakes us to our core. Sometimes holding on, is just so much more comfortable, so much easier, so much safer. The thing is, as long as you’re hold onto […], you can’t move on: you can’t forgive, you can’t get over the grudge, you can’t see the other idea or dream something different, maybe even bigger. You’re stuck. Nature is cyclic, it moves on, it’s a non-constant. Being stuck is going against your nature. You may be stuck, but time moves on, seasons change, years pass. We’re not meant to be stuck. Which is why coaching can be a useful tool for those who feel stuck and want to move on and finally let go.

Because what people often tend to forget, is that there’s relief in letting go. There’s solace in forgiving a grudge. There’s hope when you start dreaming big again. There’s a creative process, when you search for new ideas. There’s liberation when you’re not held back anymore.

The point is at the end of the day: it’s up to you. It’s always and only up to you. You decide.